Barefoot's Tips For Keeping Children Safe

This morning I was speaking with someone about ‘Stranger Danger’ and how this approach, in isolation, can lull children into a false sense of security. Statistically speaking a child is at greater risk from adults known to them and they need to be equipped with the skills necessary to spot and respond to risky situations. The idea that they can only be harmed by a faceless stranger is a dangerous one.

Coincidentally, a couple of hours later I read an article in the Independent which reports ‘Stanger Danger’ does more harm than good.  The charity Parents and Abducted Children Together is calling for "stranger danger" to be abandoned by schools and parents, and replaced with a more complex message about recognising dangerous situations rather than people.

The above video from the 1980's looks very dated now and so is it's message (I've included it purely for nostalgia). Before this one there was "Charley Says" in the 1970s with his message about the danger of strangers in parks. Below I have posted some advice to help keep your child safe in the 21st century. You should select those that are most age appropriate.  

• Teach your child their full name, your full name, address and telephone number; even if they have a mobile phone – these can get lost
  

• Include your contact details in whatever your child carries with them (mobile phone, backpack etc) so you can be easily contacted in an emergency.
  

• Teach your child not to provide personal information – such as their home address and the name of their school – to a stranger.
  

• Teach your child to ring 999 from a mobile phone, public phone or home phone in an emergency.
  

• Teach your child which authority figures or public figures they can trust and reach out to in times of need.
  

• Teach your child to yell for help if someone tries to take them somewhere without your prior agreement. Get your child into the habit of asking for permission to walk away from you, even if only for a moment.
  

• Agree a ‘safe word’ to be used if you allow an adult to pick them up.

• Develop their confidence to "yell, run and tell" when faced with a dangerous situation.
  

• Listen to your child if they say they do not like a particular adult and ask why.
  

• Instruct your child not to open the door at home without your permission.
  

• Teach your child to keep their distance from people in approaching cars who speak to them and run to a trusted adult.

• Ensure your child tells you or someone you know where they are going if leaving home without adult supervision.
  

• In crowded places, make sure you and your child know how to find each other if you get separated. Agree a central location to meet.
  

• Encourage your child to let you know if anyone tells them to keep something secret, makes them feel uncomfortable or makes them do something that they don’t want to.

• Teach them the difference between a secret and a surprise. Families shouldn't have secrets but surprise birthday presents are ok. 

• Encourage your child to stay in a group and avoid quiet or badly lit locations where possible.
  

• Remind your child to fully charge their mobile before leaving home. Also, agree with them that they will let you know when they arrive at their destination and when they are due to return.
  

• Encourage your child to talk about their problems. If they don’t feel like they can talk to you or another trusted adult they can contact ChildLine on 0800 1111.
  

• Teach your child about consent in a manner appropriate for their age. A five year old can be taught that if someone doesn't want to be touched, kissed, or tickled that should be respected. Equally, they have the same rights. 
  

• Teach your child to spot the signs of sexual exploitation. The Thinkuknow website has information and advice for young people about this and what to do if they need help.

• Teach your child about staying safe online. You might find my guides for younger children and big kids useful. Safe, a community interest company, said in the Independent article that "the concept of a stranger is very different if you've spoken to someone online. I think that's the challenge".

If you have any more tips please share them in the comments.

Have a great day!